Ugh Clutter

Clutter is something on my mind right now.

I want so badly to be a clean and organized person but I just can’t figure out how to work myself into that box, you know?

Growing up, my mother would never let me throw anything out – everything would have some sort of use someday. And while I can appreciate not being wasteful, sometimes donating stuff that you obviously don’t need anymore is a good thing!!

Becoming aware of the clutter is the worst part for me. I woke up a couple days ago and was just appalled by the state of my room and my fridge and my cupboard. My roommates are clean freaks and it makes me feel like garbage seeing their pristine everything while I’m drowning in my crap.

I don’t really know how to fix it though, that’s my problem. I’ve tried watching a bunch of videos about decluttering but I can’t shake the mindset that my mother burned into me that I’m going to seriously regret giving something away. I really want to be organized; organization is the dream. Or at least being proud of my room when guests come over. I think I want to try out some of the tips that a couple youtubers talked about so I’ll give you updates on that I think? We’ll have a little, attempted, cleanup mini series!

Maybe? No promises. We’ll see

Natasha

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Depression?

So according to lots of doctors, research, and studies, talking about your mental illness is a thing that helps.

Here we go:

I am suffering from depression.

Now here’s the thing another thing: I’m not suicidal or self-harming (and I’m so sorry if you are, I can’t even fathom).

I want to live, I love living, I just find it exhausting to live. Every single fibre in my body is exhausted and each weighs ten pounds. I haven’t cleaned my room in over a month because it takes all of my energy to just get dressed to go to work in the morning. It takes me days and my roommates getting mad at me to do the dishes and even when I do end up doing them I cry and get mind splitting headaches and back pain for an hour after.

For me, depression is very physical. Every time I get stressed, anxious, depressed, or even happy my body reacts more than the average person. I have two canker sores in my mouth right now from a stressful Saturday closing at work. My best friend had a serious kidney infection and I was so worried about her that I gave myself a fake bladder infection with all of the symptoms and had to go on antibiotics for two weeks. My final exam week I couldn’t get out of bed most days and I developed an ulcer.

Moral of the story is that all of these medical issues make me v anxious – I hate hospitals and I hate doctors they freak me out and I faint every time I go into a hospital.

So I’m going to therapy and I’m taking antidepressants and trying every single day.

Honestly I think I’ve done enough ranting for now but I think I’d like to keep this conversation going? Reading about other people’s experiences really helped me so maybe this will help someone too. I can always hope

 

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Journal: Back From Uni | Blogmas days 17-21

Hey everyone,

So I came back from university for the holidays. It’s been pretty bittersweet if I’m being honest. It’s great to see my friends and family here! But it’s also not great to be under the same roof as my mother again. Some relationships are better left with miles between them – and that’s totally okay. But my mother and I definitely have one of those relationships that need distance.

I’m 18 and I’ve been grounded without internet for the last 4 days…

Yeah.

I know that soon I’ll be back in Nova Scotia and my mother and I will be able to coexist peacefully from across the country. I think that right now I really need to grow as a person and that she isn’t always as understanding of that as she could be. We just need the space so that we can both be ourselves without overstepping on the other person.

I guess I really needed to get that off my chest..

Anyways, I’m going to continue to blog every day now although I’m sorry that there was a momentary laps in content 😦

 

Hope you all are well

Happy Blogmas babes,

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IDKWID: Makeup Favs of the Month| Blogmas day 15 + 16

Hey everyone!

( I know, I know, I’ve been lacking in the posting every day but I’m really excited about this kay so bear with me?) 

IDKWID?! It’s a new series (that I’m so excited for): “I don’t know what I’m doing”. 

I’m so far from a makeup guru and I really have no clue what I’m doing so I figured I’d make it into a series for you guys 🙂 I’m not just going to do makeup stuff either! It’s going be cooking and fashion as well! I’m so so excited to start this series ahh! 

 

Anyways, let’s get to it! Just because I have no clue what I’m doing doesn’t mean I don’t love makeup just as much as the next person…

*note: I haven’t bought any makeup since I went vegan so some of the products may not be vegan/cruelty-free.

All cruelty-free products will have:                                    .                              and vegan products:
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So, here are my makeup favourites of December:

Physician’s Formula: Murumuru Butter Bronzer

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I am so in love with this bronzer! I find that I can also use it for contouring as it isn’t super yellow/orange and more on the.. ashy? side. It is pretty expensive, but I’ve had it for almost a year and haven’t hit pan yet so that’s good!

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Benefit: Creaseless Cream Shadow/Liner in RSVP

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I just keep reaching for this eyeshadow… I’m using it as a base or on it’s own it’s so good. It is just as creamy and creaseless as it claims to be! I just realized that you can’t see the colour from this picture but it’s like a champagney kind of colour?

*I’m so sorry this product isn’t actually available through Benefit anymore though – I have amazon linked though!

e.l.f: waterproof lengthening and volumizing mascara

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WOW this $3 mascara is incredible. I love it for everyday use because it lengthens my lashes like crazy and I love how black it is. Unfortunately, if you’re looking for volume I don’t think this is the mascara for you though

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N.Y.X: liquid suede cream lipstick in soft-spoken

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I bought this colour as an everyday, wearable shade and it totally is! Make sure you wait for it to fully dry though or else it will smudge a bit when you eat. Other than that it’s fantastic!

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e.l.f: eyebrow kit in medium

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So I literally use this every day. I only really use the wax side though, not the powder side; it’s only $3 so it’s still worth it. It’s the perfect colour and perfect consistency for redefining my brows

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Essence: long lasting nude lipstick in 02 porcelain doll

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This is a perfect, pinkie nude lipstick that is great for everyday use! It’s shiny and partially sheer so really great for wearing all the time since it doesn’t dry out my lips at all. Also, all of Essence’s products are so cheap – win win win

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If you like this slash have any suggestions for products slash anything else leave me a comment or a like guys 🙂

Happy Blogmas babes,

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Travel Tips | Blogmas day 14

Hey everyone!

After this post I’ll be caught up on blogmas yay!

Since the reason I got behind in blogmas was due to travel, I figured writing a travel tips post was only fitting 🙂

Here goes nothing, my tips for the next time you’re travelling:

Pack light

This first one is partially because of checked baggage costs; they’re horrendously expensive! So cut down on what you’re bringing and then have room to buy more while you’re there too. We all know it’s going to happen so why make it worse for yourself?

Extra contingency

Everyone plans on some sort of contingency but most people don’t plan on enough. You never know what’s going to happen when you’re travelling and it is ALWAYS better to have slightly more than you plan on for “just in case. Trust me, when you’re in a pickle you’ll be thanking me.

Do the research 

This one is super obvious… right? But some folks don’t do enough research. Don’t just look at reviews on big name travel websites, look for bloggers who are posting from the site! They’re going to be so honest in what they’re seeing and doing so it’s the perfect why to start making your decisions about your trip.

Take risks 

This might be the most important one. Now this doesn’t mean you should get in cars with randoms or give all your money to a voodoo man. I just think that whenever you go somewhere new, you should try something new! Go for a hot hair balloon ride? Maybe some skinny dipping? Get out of your comfort zone because it’s now or never – you’re in this crazy cool place for a limited time so get out there and do something you never thought you could!

Talk to people

Even if you’re not travelling alone it’s so much fun to meet new people! This goes hand in hand with getting out of your comfort zone. Find some new people to chat about your new experiences with, it makes everything a lot more fun I promise

Check in back home

Even though you’re off on with your cool new friends and your crazy new experiences you need to make sure you check in with the people back home. They’re going to worry about you, plus they’re going to want to hear about everything that you’re up to!

Journal 

It’s so much fun in the moment so don’t you want to remember it later on? I always like to write a little blurb about the day right before I go to bed. That way it’s not taking a huge chunk out of my day and I still remember everything that went on! I love reading back on my travel journals and remembering all of the great experiences I had 🙂

 

If you have any travel tips I’d love to hear about them!

Happy Blogmas babes,

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Daiya Mac and Cheese Review| Blogmas day 13

Hey everyone!

Before I get into the mac and cheese I just wanted to give you guys a little update:

 

I GOT MY CAMERA (and an iPhone 5c which I used to take those pictues 🙂 )

It’s definitely been an amazing pre-Christmas for me guys!

 

Anyways, that’s not what I’m going for today, or erm for yesterday haha.

I made Daiya’s Mac and Cheese for dinner tonight and I thought it would be cool to review it for you guys! I’m allergic to dairy and have a whole bunch of other dietary restrictions (I might do a post about that later, I don’t know yet). So because of all this I went vegan! I’ll definitely go over that in a separate post don’t worry).

I should also preface this by telling you guys that I’m GARBAGE at cooking so like here goes nothing!

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Okay so boiling the water went swimmingly (ha… water… swimmingly).

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The real test is going to be what happens after the water boils. The packaging of the mac and cheese was fantastic in terms of ease: just a clear plastic bag with the noodles and a packet with the sauce.

Putting the noodles in and waiting for them to cook also went better than expected. The water didn’t even boil over!

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A word of caution: there is a LOT of sauce in that packet. It also looks kinda nasty at this point but I kept trooping.

After everything was stirred in, it looked AMAZING

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Kraft Dinner or Daiya?! Based on looks I’m blown away how good it looked.

So taste wise it’s very, very good. No, it doesn’t taste exactly like Kraft Dinner, but when you can’t eat dairy it’s a really good substitute.

My one and only wish is that they wouldn’t keep the noodles in the clear plastic, it’s a total waste. Other than that, I’m 100% going to repurchase this because it’s easy to make and tastes great!

 

Happy Blogmas babes,

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Storytime: my Travel Disasters | Blogmas day 12

Hey everyone!

OKAY SO I’M VERY LATE ON TODAY’S BLOGMAS. But let me tell you why…

 

I woke up yesterday morning in Halifax to SNOW. We had only had dustings of snow that never lasted more than a couple hours, so to wake up to everything I could see being covered in snow was definitely a shock!

So then I check on my flight and two other flights from Halifax to Toronto have been CANCELLED. Obviously I go straight into panic mode… I’m so ready for Christmas break to start I need to get home on this flight.

My friends (they’re absolutely amazing) walk with me to the shuttle station, even though it’s blizzarding out! Crazy right? I literally have the most amazing friends around. Anyways, I wait at the station and they tell us that the bus is going to be delayed for an hour. Great. But I go to check my flight status and it’s also delayed!! Thank gosh for that.

But wait…

The shuttle gets cancelled next.

WHAT DO I DO NOW?!

  1. Freak out on the phone with my mum
  2. Look up whether the city buses are running
  3. Run outside and catch the first bus that comes

Yes, that’s right, in the dark I got on the first bus that showed up and was like “hey is this going to get me in this direction?” “yes? okay thanks”.

After two more buses in the dark, and now pouring rain, I made it to the airport in time to check in!!

I cannot believe all of that actually happened.. I’m still in shock and my body is definitely still aching from lugging two large duffel bags and a backpack all over Halifax. But I did it and I’m so over the moon proud of myself eeee!!

 

Anyways, I’m so sorry it took me this long to get this out but it’s been busy

Happy Blogmas babes,

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Check in | Blogmas Day 11

Hey everyone!

I didn’t really know what to write about today so I thought maybe just an update since it’s pretty late.

I am headed back to Ontario tomorrow for the holidays which is exciting (or at least for the most of the holidays which is much more exciting 🙂 ) In tomorrow’s post I’m definitely going to do some kind of travel trips so that’s fun!

I also have an updated version of my December to do list:

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1 down, 12 to go! I hope I can get all of this done throughout the month!

Sorry for such a short post, I promise I have exciting ideas for tomorrow

 

Happy Blogmas babes,

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My Travel Dreams| Blogmas Day 10

Hey everyone!

My friend and I were talking about life plans last night; where we want to be, what we want to do, you know? So I started thinking about what exactly it is that I want to do later on in life… kind of a big topic.

After a lot of thought (and very little sleep) I realized that a really big part of what I want to do with my life is travel! I don’t care where I go or what I’m doing, I just want to see the world.

I’ve been pretty lucky in my life in terms of travel. I made a little map of all the countries that I’ve been to 🙂

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  • The Netherlands
  • Canada
  • US
  • United Kindom
  • Greece
  • St. Thomas
  • British Virgin Islands
  • Puerto Rico
  • Bahamas
  • Austria

 

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I think 10 countries in 18 years isn’t too bad, but I can’t wait until I get to some more! Now I know I’ve already been to the U.K. but over Christmas I’m going to visit my family in London and I am so so so excited! 🙂

Travelling means… well the world to me. I love discovering new places, new people, and new traditions. I feel like a new person every time I get back from somewhere new and I want to keep rediscovering myself. I know that sometime during university I want to spend a summer backpacking through Europe – I think that would help get some of the travel bug in me satisfied (for awhile at least).

If you guys have any suggestions of where I should go and what I should see let me know!

Happy Blogmas babes,

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